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That excitement you feel when you first hear the admission list is out, silently wishing your prayers were answered or efforts put in place to secure the admission had worked as planned as you progress to the school for verification. That tension and suspense you fill when walking up to the notice board to see what lies ahead for you. For some, that day ends up marking the last of their tries to acquire a university degree, to others its just one of the failed attempts and there is no harm in trying again, but to you that was a joyous and victorious day because you were either so lucky to have gotten in with just a try or after some few/several years of trial and error you finally had destiny, nature, force of the universe, the divine intervention of God, whatever you believed was at work smiled at you.
Now your in, you join in the usual routine your predecessors went through, same old system of operation, but there is a vital issue about being in the university that cannot be over emphasized, many authors have written about it, many clerics, mentors, parents, guardians, the elderly have all in one way or the other spoken about it, that is what I want to talk about because up till this moment, so many students especially the naive ones, the ones who get admitted at young ages or got admitted immediately after secondary education still fall prey and end up being bitter victims to this widely talked about issue "FRIENDS"
I got admission into the university same year I graduated from secondary school, I got the same old lessons from parents, well wishers, siblings and teachers in church about friends, I thought it irrelevant because I seldom associated much which has been that way since birth and I thought if I haven't been this way for years, I don't see why I should start now besides I thought I was old enough to make out "bad friends" when I see them. But the mistake I made and the mistake most of you have or might also make is this: the devil don't always appear with an ugly face, horns or a pitch fork, likewise bad friends don't appear or are not always the ones that introduce you to drugs, alcohol, parties, late nights, girls for the guys and guys for the females NO! When you have morals, when you have been properly home trained, when some values have been planted in you from home, you will have moderation in whatever you do even if you happen to be carried away or go astray at one point or the other by the above mentioned. Even the Bible in Prov. 22:6 says train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it, I usually say if a child is properly trained, he/she doesn't need to get old to practice it, when that child faces some difficulties or situations where mummy and daddy aren't there, you will know that some teachings were registering somewhere after all.
I was going to school from home at first when I started, then I moved into the hostel with an old class mate of mine from secondary school, stayed through during the week then go home weekends because at that time I was looking for an off campus accommodation so I could settle down. I had no friends as usual so I was always to myself but one day I was just seating in front of my department when some of my course mates were arguing about football and my club was mentioned in the course of the discussion. In order for me to start associating I decided to join in the discussion and it turned out to be fun, through that means I got to meet them and introduction started, out of the people I got to know that day I met someone, a course mate who turned out to be my friend at the end of the day because we realized we were from same state and same LGA, she was so nice, accommodating, never goes anywhere without me, introduced me to other course mates and even the class rep, things were getting better and to crown it all up, she was also looking for an off campus accommodation at that time....the wonder works of "God" right? The mysterious ways of "God".
Things went on smoothly at first or so I thought, I was gradually disconnecting from my main purpose of getting into school without even knowing. It is one thing to have a problem, it is another thing to know what you have is a problem, its is yet another thing to accept that Yes you have a problem and finally a bigger thing to want to enact a change and look for a solution or a way out of the problem.
I and this found friend became so attached, we were so close, told each other everything, went everywhere together, people knew us as a pair, one without the other wasn't complete, we did almost everything together except, reading, going for tutorials, going for lectures early, doing assignments, copying lesson notes etc. Most of the things I just mentioned we never did together, I had to do them alone
Because my "other half" "loved" me so much that I just had to be where ever she was, do whatever she was doing and go places she went but things she did never had anything to do with the above mentioned. Things never remained the same for me, my academics, my CGPA, my seriousness, my commitment to work, studies, and to God, if they would call names of people who were righteous, spotless, holy, I might not have made the list, but if not for anything, I was very active in activities, one thing I dedicated to God from time was my time, in the things I knew how to do best but all that went into lock and key till like a year to my graduation. Because of my rebellion to get some me time and some study time I gained 2 wonderful things, and loosed a lot of other things. I gained a certificate even though it isn't what I ever dreamed of having, and I graduated with my mates even though it seemed impossible and very difficult because of last minute realization of mistakes. In return I loosed my happiness, my peace of mind, my self esteem, my friendship with others, even my house I paid rent for, and many others I can't mention.
Remember drugs, alcohol, parties, and whatever other usual thing you can mention had no hand in this, but a possessive and manipulative friend did! I know questions will be running through your minds now, but there are certain things that subjected me to such and made me vulnerable that I can't mention now, probably in subsequent editions. Space wouldn't permit me to go further, but I will leave you with this, look within you in a situation of distress, distress might be peer pressure, financial lack, school stress, name it. You have an inner strength that is waiting to be activated by you, reach out to it, stay away from people with negative energy you will live long, if nobody encourages you, encourage yourself, don't forget nobody in this world is better than you, we are all unique in our own way, that's what makes the world perfect. And most important of all stay away from possessive friends, possession leads to manipulation and possession is most times disguised as love and care till you are trapped deeper than you can imagine!
Written By: Abangdove
Twitter :- @Abangdove
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